Wandering Lite and Dementia Talks living Lewy Body Dementia
Getting to Acceptance

Stage 4 – Bargaining

“I’ll do anything, just grant me a few more years”

Bargaining with God

This stage is for terminally ill people who are coping with the inevitability of death and with gradual loss of mental faculties before death. Bargaining is a usual part of the process.  If you weren’t religious or thinking of God, you are now.

For me there was no bargaining.  My faith in God allowed me to believe that God has a purpose in my life, if for nothing else, than to show how it is possible to live positively with Lewy Body Dementia.

The Bargaining Process

It not unusual to try to bargain, but…

The bargain generally entails a “payment” by someone in exchange for a postponement of the sentence, or a fulfillment of last wishes. Most bargain about things like pain, whether physical or emotional.  My bargain with God; if it is a bargain; was to ask that with whatever time I have left, and with whatever mental abilities I can muster to serve him, to help others in need, to walk the life of a belief in Jesus and his teaching.  I will only know if God wants me to do what I can, as long as I can, after it is over.

Bargaining Can Lead to Guilt

It is important to remember that far too often, guilt comes with bargaining. People often go down the path of “What if..” or “If I only…”, finding fault in themselves and things they have done.  This is normal, but it is so important to leave the past if you are going to chart a new tomorrow.

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  • Reply
    Sharell Burdick
    November 5, 2020 at 12:05 am

    My thoughts and Prayers are with you and your family. Please know you are loved .

    • Reply
      Ted Obenour
      November 5, 2020 at 2:12 pm

      Thanks you, I know you know the challenges of living in pain. Thank you for your support. Please share. Ted

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